Home Alone

My last day of work was Wednesday, August 31. It was like any ordinary day at work. I mostly spent the day turning over last minute documents and tying up loose ends. I am now the human equivalent of a blue whale, so, for most of the day, I was more uncomfortable rather than emotional from sitting all day (especially since I had brought home all my pillows and my makeshift ottoman the week before).

I only got emotional when I finally left my building and started walking towards the gate where Mikey was supposed to pick me up. I was feeling nostalgic and grateful. When I got to the gate and spotted Mikey’s car, I started waving like I usually do and then I realized that this would be the last time in a long time that we would be doing this. As soon as I got into the car, I started bawling.

My emotions were eventually stabilized by Pancake House’s spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwich. And the fact that there was a whole lot of peace in this decision. So later on that evening, I was fine and I was even excited for this whole new world of work-from-home domesticity.

And then Thursday came. Mikey left for work early in the morning and there was nowhere for me to go. I was still nursing my edema from the day before, so I spent most of the day in bed with my legs up. I answered a bunch of emails while watching old episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. When Mikey got home, I admitted to him that I wasn’t sure how to do this. I couldn’t get myself to fully goof off because it wasn’t the weekend and goofing off on a weekday felt indulgent and wrong. Also, because my edema was kicking up, I couldn’t do a whole lot of household chores. So I couldn’t even do the whole domestic goddess thing.

Then I realized that I had the power to structure all of this free time! Make a to-do list! So, before I went to bed, I made a list of things I wanted to do: sort the laundry, make the bed, clean the kitchen, answer emails, cook, bake brownies, and take out some Christmas decorations. It was a good list.

Thankfully, after resting all day on Thursday, my feet were back to its normal size by Friday! So before Mikey got home, I ended up doing most of it except the Christmas decorations (the boxes were heavy) and the brownies (I really didn’t want to eat the brownies, I just wanted to mix things in a bowl). When Mikey got back, he had a quick snack and helped me with the Christmas decorations.

I realized that while I immensely enjoy solitary work at the office, it’s different when I’m at home. I have bouts of sadness when I’m home alone for long stretches (even when I’m accompanied by Meredith and Cristina). Maybe it’s because I’m used to having Mikey here with me when we’re at home during the evenings and weekends. When I lived in my apartment before getting married, I didn’t really have any problems with the alone time. But hopefully, this will only last a few more days! I’m sure that there will be plenty to do when Squishy is out! 😅 And as we’re playing the waiting game, our mothers have been more attentive. In fact, Lola is sleeping on our couch right now as I type this. She visited today to bring me more Pancake House spaghetti and keep me company while Mikey went to work.

So far, no signs of Squishy wanting to leave yet! 😅 Last Saturday, we had another Biophysical Profile Scoring (BPS) Ultrasound and a new test, the Non-stress Test. The non-stress test is a non-invasive test that took about 30-40 minutes. They strapped on two monitors on my belly and it monitor’s Squishy’s heart rate, movements, and reactions to contractions (apparently, I had two mild contractions which I did not feel at all. In fact, I slept through most of it). While you’re strapped in, you get to hear the baby’s heartbeat echo through the room. 😍 It was magical! (Although the Sperm Donor described it differently 😑).

IMG_1976 2
The Non-stress Test. Hullo, stretch marks! 😔

Squishy had a BPS of 8/8 again and the non-stress test shows that he’s doing well! YAY! 😍 He seems to be enjoying his time in my belly. 😅 Mikey got to see his chubby little face again. ❤️ The doctor was going so fast though that I barely got to see it. 😢

He only gained a few ounces this week! So we’re still okay to deliver normally. 👯 But my cousin recently told me not to take the ultrasound results too seriously—her first baby came out smaller than the ultrasound showed and her second baby was bigger. I kind of like that there’s still an element of surprise. 😁

For now, I will walk and wait, walk and wait. One thing that I miss about going to work is the ease of which I can go Pokémon hunting. There are no Pokémons in our apartment. 😞


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