The Art of Bending

Hello from the whale-y side!

I am an official waddler. I take little steps and I walk with my back fully arched and my belly sticking out. I think I’m still on my second trimester energy kick because I can still do a lot of the housework I couldn’t do before. Although, now that I’m heavier, I get leg cramps more often. But I don’t feel sluggish or extra tried.

But, my belly is huge. People have marveled at its huge-ness. It’s like a swallowed a bowling ball. I was initially worried that I was packing on so much weight that I wouldn’t be able to feel or see Squishy’s kicks anymore. But as of press time, Squishy’s kicks are still getting through (I had a cookie).

There’s one thing that’s getting more and more difficult—bending. It’s difficult to bend like I used to because I feel like Squishy will get squished and/or gravity will topple me over.

So here are some techniques I’ve developed to compensate for my un-bendiness:

Finger Toes. You can use your toes like primitive fingers and pick up light-weight objects (like tissues that refuse to enter the trash can).

Ideas - 67

Kick and Slide. When you drop a larger or heavier object (like a book), you can try kicking the object to the nearest wall and use your feet to glide it up against the wall. Try to glide it high enough for you to be able to reach it with your hands.

Ideas - 70

Hide and Collect. At work, whenever I drop anything on the floor, I subtlety kick the object to a spot under my desk and wait until the end of the day before picking it up. Repeat whenever you drop anything. That way, if I accidentally drop anything else, I just have to bend once to pick it all up!

Ideas - 69

Apple Bottom Jeans (boots with the fur). That strange dance move when you’re slowly reaching the floor by spreading your legs and swaying side to side as you descend? Yeah, that works really well too.

(the move they do whenever Flo Rida goes low low low low)

Cattle Call. When all else fails, never be ashamed to gently call/yell for your partner to help you pick things up. It might help if you pretend to want a hug near the object that fell. After the hug, politely ask your partner to pick it up.

Ideas - 68

Never underestimate our built in ability to assimilate and accommodate!

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