Don’t follow the light.

My husband and our mothers have been really supportive since they found out about Squishy. My Mom shows her support in the form of food. My Mother-in-law (MIL) shows her support by getting us a mishmash of things that we need or might need. She also likes to keep up with the news and warns us when there’s anything potentially dangerous for Squishy.

The Zika Virus has been on the news for the last few weeks. My heart aches for all those mothers and babies who were unknowingly afflicted. While the Zika Virus hasn’t reached the Philippines yet (except for an isolated case in Cebu City a few years back), my MIL has been reading up on it and she’s been worried about Squishy. She even sent over this beeper-like device that’s supposed to keep the mosquitoes away.

Easy Call lang ang peg.

While my husband isn’t as worried about the Zika Virus specifically, he’s worried about mosquitoes in general. I’m a mosquito magnet. If there’s a mosquito in the room, there’s a 90% chance that I will get bitten. Soon after he found out about Squishy, he revived his old bug zapper. It’s about 2 feet tall and when you plug it in, it looks like a lamp with blue lights that emits a low buzzing sound.

The bug zapper used to be behind his side table, so I didn’t really notice it. But last night, my husband decided to move it closer to me—right across my side of the bed. He did this after I fell asleep, so I really didn’t notice at first. Until I woke up for my first pee of the night (I wake up at least once every night now to pee).

At first, it was quite useful. I didn’t have to guess my way into the bathroom and hope I don’t step on some laundry I accidentally left lying around. But when I finished and I was back in bed, the blue lights were shining right in front of me. 😦 I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, but my brain kept going on and on. It wasn’t coherent brain activity, but tired, desperately sleepy brain activity. Here are some of the thoughts that plagued me last night (or this morning?):

  • What am I going to do about work? I want to be there for Squishy 24/7, but I also want to work. I hope I’m able to find a work-from-home options that keeps me engaged and sharp.
  • I still don’t have an independent member for my panel scheduled next week!
  • If I stop working in September, how can I afford a crib?
  • They increased our association dues, how can I stop working? My poor husband has to do all of that for us?
  • Maybe I could keep teaching after a few months? Maybe I can take the 7:30-9:00 slots only. That’s about 6 units. At least I’ll have some spending money.
  • We need a highchair and a play area. Oh no. All of this cost money.
  • Cordlife is still so expensive, but I think I really want it for our baby.
  • Will my husband start resenting me if I’m a stay at home mom only?
  • I haven’t drafted the TORs for Friday!

After what seemed like two hours of tossing, turning, and thinking, I finally started imagining mongo beans and counting them until I fell asleep.

There were more in my head.  (Photo from

My husband woke me up the next morning and I was more sluggish than usual. After I took a bath and woke up a little, I said: “Love, we need to have a serious conversation about that bug zapper”.


2 thoughts on “Don’t follow the light.

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